Shay Thomason

Today is one of those days I just need to write.

I met some of my family for the first time on Sunday. Without going through a long, drawn out explanation, it really wasn’t the first time, but it might as well have been. It was probably one of the largest sibling gatherings that I have seen, other than my grandpa dying. It was nice to visit with them without the death of our grandpa looming over our heads. Plus, I think I was 16 when that happened, so being a few years older helped. Nevertheless, the night was enjoyable. We ate a great meal that one of my sister’s made, played foosball with my nephews and brother, and got to talk about what has happened in the past ten years.

I didn’t grow up knowing some of my family. It’s not a choice that I made, nor do I think it’s any one person’s fault. But I feel that experience has skewed my view of what family looks like. That’s definitely an area where marriage has helped. I have been able to see and be apart of my own family, as well as see the inner workings of my wife’s family. Sure, every family has their quirks, but family is probably the quirkiest. But for about two hours, last Sunday night, I sat in a room with three sisters, one brother, one step sister (sort of), and at least five of my nieces and nephews.

After my wife and I left, I called my dad. Of the children he has raised I am probably the closest with him, and I wanted him to know what had occurred. My hope was that it would encourage him–that it would bring joy to his heart to hear of his children being together. I believe it did. His initial reaction was surprise, which then lead to realization. We talked again on Monday, and he was still in shock. He said he sat in his easy chair for a few hours after I called him that night and just thanked God for what had happened. Hopefully that gives you an idea of how big of a deal this was.

You see, I want to know my family, but I’m scared at times. Though these people have the same blood as me, I don’t know them anymore than I know the President of The United States. But the Lord has opened a door for me. In fact, it’s wide open and I feel like I just took a step in and looked around a bit. It still seems dark in this room. I can barely make out the faces, but I know they look familiar. Maybe if I step in all the way, and grab a flashlight I might be able to make contact with those dimly lit faces. Nevermind, just flip the light switch…

I got really excited when I saw this on my computer this morning. No, it’s not my town, but it’s where I’ll be spending Christmas this year with my wife and her family. Oh man… I need hot chocolate!

1. It is OK to buy things solely based on smell.
These items could include, but are not limited to: body wash, candles, and laundry soap. This is a concept I never understood. Men are practical people. I would normally purchase these items for functionality, therefore, if a body wash doesn’t foam enough, then it’s probably not worth my time. But now I am finding this is all a myth. At the end of the day, it’s all about smelling good.
2. I’m not too young to be married.
For almost two years I’ve had the privilege (for lack of a better word) of hearing the words, “You’re married!? Wow… you’re so young!.” The truth is, I can’t imagine getting married any later in life. I am continually growing and learning, and we are learning more and more together. We didn’t really have established habits coming out of college, but are merely establishing them now with each other.
3. Dates are important.
You just can’t under estimate going out for a nice evening together. Life is just busy, and a month will go by at the blink of an eye. Those times together are super crucial and a blessing. For us, it usually means a nice dinner and maybe ice cream afterwards, and that’s always a joy for me. We get to talk, laugh, and just be together without all the distractions this world is offering us.
4. Birthdays are way more fun.
They involve sneaking around town, trying to make sure she doesn’t see the box hidden in our one bedroom apartment, and trying to get really creative with our one bank account so she can’t see how much I spent. Sometimes you have to collaborate with the in-laws which is a ton of fun. At the end of the day they are just a great time and the stories they create are priceless.
5. Holidays are different.
There is always the question of which side of the family you will visit, and on what holiday? Though I don’t mind this right now, I think it would be a lot different if we had kids. Our families want to see us. And even though we have jobs and lives here, it’s important to make our way across the country (in various directions) be with them for the holidays.
6. You start memorizing the grocery store.
Never in my life have I had to spend regular time at the grocery store. But now that we go there all the time, I’ve realized that it’s important to know where stuff is. Though we make lists and whatnot, there’s always that jar of pickles, a random seasoning like cumin, or even sloppy joe sauce that you’ll forget and need to find while getting ready to checkout. Memorizing the aisles and locations of stuff is a huge benefit, trust me.
7. Target is the best.
I think there have been weeks where we went to Target four days in a row. That place is great. They always have what we need, and we always find cheap movies that we have been wanting to buy for a while. We go for big shopping days, and when we just need a toothbrush, and every time we seem to like it.

That’s all for now.. maybe as time goes on I can share more of my learnings with you. Feel free to leave me comments… they always put a smile on my face (and my wife’s).